Things my mom say

As a Chinese woman living in Cuba most of her life made my mother's English accent a charming blend of Chinese and Spanish. This amazing talent enables her to be creative when enunciating comon words in the English language. This wiki page is dedicated to documenting my conversations with her as she reveals to me wondrous new ways to pronounce the simplest of words.

Purbeder
I had a late lunch with my mother at the Olive Garden. As we waited for our orders. She talked to me about this person she met that she didn't like because of how he treated women. She tells me this man is a purbeder. To which I replied, "Do you mean he's a pervert?"

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Oleeber Garden
In the first day of my mother's retirement she wanted to go out with me to go out and shop for clothes. We walked around many stores. I was looking for a suite to wear for a friend's wedding. I learned that a size 36R suit fits me like a glove. After a long afternoon of shopping we decided it was time to eat lunch. So my mother suggested we go to the "Oleeber Garden". I said, "Yeah mom lets go to the Olive Garden". While we waited for orders to be cooked, the waitress gave us a salad apetizer. When I served myself the salad, there were a few bits I didn't eat. So my mother asked "You're not going to eat any of the oleebers?"

Dred/Digh
I'm off to do some grocery shopping and my mother gave me a shopping list. Among the items she wished me to buy, the one that caught my eye would be "Chicken Dred". I asked her what's a Chicken Dred? She told me she meant "Chicken Digh." With my linguistic skills I figured she meant "Chicken Thigh." She made chicken salad out of it and it tasted great!

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Machonaze
I asked my mother if she wanted anything when I was in the Super Market. She gave me a list. One of the items that caught my eye was "machonaze". I asked her to translate it and she told me she meant to say mayonnaise.

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Traver-tist
America's got Talent is a show my mother and I would watch whenever it's on. There was this one performer who was a woman. My Mother tells me this woman looks like a "traver-tist". I said, “Yes she does look like a transvestite.”

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Fiance
Before she went to bed, my mother was watching a movie on TV which was near it's end, she liked what she saw. So she wanted to see the movie from the beginning. However my mother didn't know the title and asked if I could look for it online. I asked her who stared in the movie, so I can do a search by the actor. She told me it starred “Fiance”. I figured she meant Beyounce and the movie was Dream Girls.

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AMY wards
I went to have lunch with my mom. We talked about how technology has been advancing over the years which led to the topic of amputees. She told me that how courageous they can be under adversity. She mention to me that there is a movie based on a girl who became an amputee. She told me she saw this girl in the “AMY wards”. I figured she meant to say the Emmy Awards.

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Ironman reverse Tor
On a Sunday my mother and I were watching Ironman 2. Once the credits rolled I fast forward the DVD so show her thea special scene an the end. The scene was someone finding Thor's Hammer. So she asked me, “Is the next movie going to be Ironman reverse Tor”. To which I reply “No the next movie won't be Ironman versus Thor.”

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AHMA-hedohne
Way back when VHS tapes was the only means to watch a movie and in every area there was a movie rental, my mother rented a movie and asked me if I wanted to see it. I asked her what was the movie. She told me it's called “AHMA-hedohne”. I took a look at the tape and told her the movie is called Armageddon.